Once upon a time there were 4 boys called Fereti, Mesley and Michael. They were planning to go skydiving because they wanted to spend time with each other.
Wesley’s age is 25, his job is chief and boxing. Michaels job is sports and chief and his age is 24 . Cedric's job is at the airport, he is 23 years old. Fereti is scared of heights so we let him face his fear.
When the boys left to go skydiving something bad happened. That thing that was bad was a fire. The boys went to the plane and saw a bush fire near the plane cause the plane was near the bushes. When Wesley spotted the bush fire he dialed 111 fast as possible. And Michael stopped the car and turned around. After 20 minutes no policemen or firefighters showed up so Michael and his friends went to the fire engine place and reported to them fast. And then they went to the police station because the bushfire was about to touch all of the planes. The fire made a big explosion cause of the plane that was next to the bush. When the police and the firemen went to the rescue they couldn’t take the fire out so the rain came down.
The rain was pouring down and the rain helped cause it was taking out the fire. And god helped the policemen and the firefighters cause the angles were with them 100%. When the fire ran out the policemen and the firefighters were laughing cause they didn’t take out the fire.
good work mic you really made an effet
ReplyDeleteYou used the boys a lots, you do not yous, this ,
ReplyDeleteYour skydiving story was amazing your information was awesome I could follow your story.
Good work michael.
Once upon a time there were 4 boys called Fereti, Mesley and Michael. They were planning to go skydiving because they wanted to spend time with each other. Read your story please...
Use dialogue because that is your goal and speech marks
ReplyDeletemy next goal is use more details and dont be distracted
ReplyDelete