intro

WHO: Room 7

WHAT: played the maths game

WHEN: Thursday 14th September

WHERE: in the hall

WHY: to practice our maths skills

HOW: we walked there, in teams of 6.




Bad Intro: Room 7 played the maths game. It was Thursday 14th September 2018. We were in the hall. We did it to practice our maths skills. We walked there and we were in teams.

*notice how the information are all in separate sentences* - don’t do that, it’s boring to read.




On Thursday morning (the 14th September 2018), Room 7 walked out the to the hall to play the maths game. Room 7 plays this game so we can practice our maths skills and have a bit of a running around break.

*Put the information into sentences TOGETHER. Much better to read*




WHO: Me and my family

WHAT: went to the beach

WHEN: Saturday 8th September

WHERE: Mission bay

WHY: to have fun and enjoy the sunshine

HOW: drove in the car

Intro:Me and my family went to mission bay to have fun and enjoy the sunshine on saturday 8th september.







WHO: me and my best friend

WHAT: went to the movies and had lunch

WHEN: on Sunday 9th September

WHERE: Sylvia Park

WHY: for my birthday

HOW: mum dropped us off in the car

Intro:on sunday 9th september me and my best friend went to the movies and had lunch for my birthday.







WHO: Me and my family

WHAT: went to nana’s house

WHEN: after church on Sunday 9th September

WHERE: nana’s house in Panmure

WHY: to have lunch together, help plan for cousins 21st party

HOW: drove in the van

Intro:After church on sunday 9th september me and my family went to nan’s house to have lunch together,helped planned for cushions 21st birthday.